martiansNo, this is not a Qnion headline. There is apparently so little happening in Lebanon these days that Naharnet has decided to investigate an invasion of Israeli spy parachutes. Here’s the report:

Parachute-like objects lit up the sky above southern Lebanon overnight in what appeared to be a new Israeli spy method.

Security reports said a “shining object” resembling a gas cylinder fell over the southern village of Nmaireh around 10:30pm Monday and another over Zafta in the Nabatiyeh province.

Security forces rushed to the scene and went straight into on a fact-finding mission to find out the truth about these objects.

The daily An-Nahar on Tuesday described the parachute-like objects as a “new kind of Israeli espionage war on Lebanon.”

It said Israel has been recently dropping these objects over the mountainous terrain of southern Lebanon and near residential houses.

Al-Akhbar newspaper, however, quoted local sources as saying the object over Zafta was likely a meteor that fell from the sky or an Israeli parachute or even a spy device.

But security sources said the object could be an “explosive arrow” that was shot from a nearby location.

So, just to be clear… is it raining meteors, gas cylinders, parachutes, explosive arrows, or spy satellites?

Determined to shed light on this issue, we dispatched two of The Qnion’s crack investigative reporters — Jacob Tafnis and Bala Manyakeh — down to the southern village of Abu Tanjara to interview some eyewitnesses. The village mayor, Muhsin Ayyach, was one of several people to get a close look at the object.

“It was about ten meters across, shaped like a huge saucer. And there were many flashing lights,” said Ayyach, pointing in the direction of the field where the strange object landed.

“My brother and I got our Kalashnikovs and then walked up to it carefully. When we were about fifteen meters away, a door opened up and three little green men walked out. One of them walked right up to us and said something like: ‘Take me to your leader.’ That was when I was sure that he was an Israeli.”

Muhsin’s brother, Bilal, confirmed the story. “We didn’t know what to do, so we just started firing our guns. But the bullets didn’t seem to hurt the little green men. They were protected by some kind of… how do you call it? Force field?”

When the brothers Ayyach were questioned by the security forces, they were asked whether they believed it was possible that the little green men could have been extraterrestrials.

“No way,” said Muhsin. “They may have looked like Martians, but they were definitely Israelis.”Qnion-small
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