Free Patriotic Movement, Lebanon, Reform, The Qnion

Our Oily Future

ministry of energyLebanon’s Ministry of Energy and Water has launched a new campaign promoting the benefits of off-shore oil exploration for the average citizen. The ads contain shots of smiling people aside captions like: “My children and I are staying in Lebanon“… or “My future is in Lebanon“… or… “I’m going back to work in Lebanon!

Another genre of ads gestures towards a rosy future with the slogan “Our country now has oil for X” (with various happy possibilities suggested, such as: a strong military, public transport, and various social services like free education, healthcare, and social security).

Why stop there? I think the Ministry needs a nudge in a more ambitious direction. See below for my suggestions, with more to follow…



(Streets free of traffic jams… private jets… manaqeesh with salmon and caviar)

lebanon-oil11(Our country now has oil … for hosting the Olympic Games)


(Our country now has oil … for military dominance)


(Our country now has oil… for space exploration)

Stay tuned.


21 thoughts on “Our Oily Future

  1. Something about seeing a cedar on a NASA ship cracks me up. Not in a million years.

    Posted by mrbazoun | April 30, 2013, 2:05 pm
  2. hahahahaha @ last one. Priceless

    Posted by Maverick | April 30, 2013, 7:27 pm
  3. Slippery

    Posted by Nadim Shehadi | May 1, 2013, 12:40 am
  4. God is great!

    Posted by samadamsthedog | May 1, 2013, 8:18 am
  5. Sorry dude but Nassrallah declared Lebanon as a failed state! No Balad walla ballout! 😀
    Maybe you should illustrate a Lebanon where no shaving blades are needed! 😛

    Posted by danny | May 1, 2013, 8:44 am
  6. Really nice piece. It appears that Bassil thinks he is personally responsible for finding the gas, to the extent that he has to neglect his children!

    Posted by Joe | May 2, 2013, 8:13 am
  7. Wouldn’t it be to Lebanon’s benefit to have enough military dominance to establish some military deterrence ’bout now?

    Unless, Lebanese airspace serving as a platform for IAF missile strikes on Syrian (HEZBOLLAH!!!) assets is a net plus in the eyes of the latest confederation of fools.

    Posted by lally | May 5, 2013, 12:15 am
  8. lally it was Nassrallah who was barking away and threatening Israel a few days back. What’s your point? He should have at least shot a few bullets at those IAF planes. Oh I forgot; they only shoot Lebanese pilots!!!

    Military deterrence eh? Against whom? The assassins of Syria?

    Posted by danny | May 5, 2013, 8:27 am
  9. Looks like its gonna be a really hot summer, get your bathing suits and gas masks ready.

    Posted by Vulcan | May 5, 2013, 10:12 am
  10. Conspiracy Theorists of the Resistance type just went into overdrive on steroids. How they had it right all along, the Syrian uprising was a Zionist instigated plot to tear the Arab world another hole.

    Posted by Maverick | May 5, 2013, 9:30 pm
  11. This isn’t Israeli tit for Hezbollah tat, Danny. Who cares what Nasrallah said a few days ago? It was simply the latest parry in the ongoing Israeli/HA dialogue of threats. No big deal. Yada yada yada….

    Howsomever, it is not considered kosher for one national entity to hijack the airspace of another sort-of-enemy state in order to attack yet a third country. In essence, Israel is holding hostage the population of Lebanon as defenseless human shields. This situation is/was? considered anathema among the civilized nation states. This is where having the proper anti-aircraft “bullets” in the arsenal matters.

    Lebanon is simply not allowed to have adequate means of self-defense.

    There is much uncertainty about the why now? of it all. Some leftist American Jews believe that the motivating factor for the attacks was yet another way for the bibster to show Obama who is boss. Rubbing Lebanese faces in their own helplessness is also kind of fun. Some take the confederacy of fools at their word that regime change Syrian style will make the region safer for the dear cousins. It has taken a fair bit of time for the US faction to get the Israelis on board. It seems that security types were happy with Assad and why wouldn’t they be? Israel intel had it free and easy in Syria in the good old days.

    The game it has changed and some *smart money says that Israel is pre-emptively reducing the Syrian cache of offensive and much more critical defensive weapons (“bullets”) available to Hezbollah just in case. Plausible.

    Also interesting is the firm & public Israeli insistence that Hezbollah has no, none, zip, zilch desire for the Syrian cache of CW. They apparently believe Nasrallah dismissive denials and may, for now, be satisfied with Assad’s control of said WMDs. Strategery going on here?

    To be continued…..

    * [Harper]:

    Thanks ever so for the indelible imagery of Lebanese in bathing suits and gas masks, Vulcan.)

    Posted by lally | May 6, 2013, 12:19 am
  12. ” In essence, Israel is holding hostage the population of Lebanon as defenseless human shields…” remind you of HA?

    Posted by danny | May 6, 2013, 6:21 am
  13. Not HA, Danny. More like the PLO?

    Funny how the Israelis are reassuring Assad isn’t it?

    Posted by lally | May 7, 2013, 2:03 am
  14. Yup. It seems Bibi did not get an invite to the annual family BBQ from “cuz” Bashar. He wanted to reassure him! Should I laugh or cry…

    BTW…Both; HA learned from PLO…IDF mimics HA…and the beat goes on. Same difference.

    Posted by danny | May 7, 2013, 7:42 am
  15. The Conspiracy Theory starts in 3….2….1…


    What is your position on Hezbollah’s campaign to prop-up our dear friend and Syrian-killer Dr. Assad?

    I’m sure it’s some ZIonist plot, right?

    Posted by Akbar Palace | May 13, 2013, 6:44 am
  16. Away from politics and oily future, I would like to focus on the concrete.

    If any, of the expat and local ladies and gentlemen who grace us with their intellect and vision on this “hear hear” good forum, are interested in cooperating on this fine project, please say Ay and drop me a line to

    Thanks Dr. Elias

    Warm regards,


    Posted by Vulcan | May 13, 2013, 5:43 pm
  17. Reporting from Beirut..Christ you know it aint easy

    Wa Nkbatah

    yabkoon 3ala’l nakba wahoom fil Nakbati kolo yaowmin merara

    Ka'”sak ya watan ya ka’sa’l marara (bda3ah aweiyeh)

    kiss ekht
    kiss mart
    kiss ….sho hayda wlooooooooohhh.. am ara here

    i just wanna know what the fuck is wrong with all these people.. it’s insanity.. How can they go on doing this all the time the hypocrisy ya elahi can the Arabs please quit killing each other please
    look at the children in the streets

    Posted by Vulcan | May 16, 2013, 3:11 am


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