Like farm animals before an earthquake, the Lebanese daily newspapers are beginning to shift anxiously ahead of what they now believe to be, yes… I think we can confirm… yes, uh huh, there’s absolutely no question this time… it’s gonna… it’s, it’s… oh my God… it’s happening!
THE GOVERNMENT IS COMING, THE GOVERNMENT IS COMING!
Or so they say.
Al-Akhbar predictably claims that America’s evil Vice-Regent (Jeffrey Feltman) has given the green light, while Naharnet predictably claims that Syria’s evil Vice-Regent (Bashar al-Assad) has given the green light. Michel Aoun, in the meantime, is insisting that the light remains decidedly orange.
I remember speaking to Joshua Landis a few months ago about the cabinet crisis, and he suggested to me that while Bashar would love to see Saad Hariri come over the mountains and make the humiliating visit to Damascus, Saudi Arabia and the U.S. had made it clear that no such gesture was in the cards. Meanwhile, as much as America and Saudi would love to see Saad stick it to Aoun and Hizbullah (by assembling a majority cabinet), that is clearly a red line for Syria.
Moral of the story: I personally don’t think that Lebanon’s problem is one evil foreign Vice-Regent but several of them, not to mention all the little local wannabe evil Vice-Regents.
Update (comment from Joshua Landis):
“The word on the street about the Syrians and Saudis is that they have agreed to tell their friends in Lebanon to fix things as they see fit, but that Syria and Saudi Arabia are not going to let their relationship be held hostage by paralysis in Lebanon… Interpret that as you wish.”
That cracked me up. Anti-climaxes are a local specialty, which we may or may not be grateful for, depending. While they lead nowhere, the climactic alternative might be extremely explosive.
Qifa – I like it.
The word on the street about the Syrians and Saudis is that they have agreed to tell their friends in Lebanon to fix things as they see fit, but that Syria and Saudi Arabia are not going to let their relationship be held hostage by paralysis in Lebanon…..
Interpret that as you wish 🙂
Maybe “the Mini-me evil Vice-Regents” really do have serious disagreements that are hard to resolve?
And that is why I love this blog.
Insight + Humor = Win
Who benefits from the regular ‘we’re almost there’ hysteria? It’s a genuine question, I have no idea.
Ok…Basically they are saying we don’t control HA ans e are waiting for Iran’s green light to HA
The “national unity” cabinet will prove to be a short reprieve in a lengthy process that cannot succeed. Any attempt to share power by diametrically opposite ideologies will fail. The real fireworks are still to come.
When the government is formed the always ready to kill or party Lebanese will forget all what happened the past 4 months or 30 years and climactically or orgasmically celebrate in downtown Beirut and Majida and shoo esmo will sing wearing white suits Love is in the airrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
And yes Lebanon is optically polluted not only does it need new billboard laws it needs a new f*&%ing Lebanon.