The Qnion

Middle Eastern Ex-Spymasters Suddenly Discover a Passion for Humanitarianism

684px-Flag_of_the_Marshall_IslandsThe former Lebanese security chief, Jamil al-Sayyed, is the Marshall Islands’ new ambassador to UNESCO, AFP reported today. Among the benefits of this post (in addition to approving nods and kind words from fellow guests at cocktail parties), is the diplomatic immunity it confers upon its holder, who may or may not be the target of prosecution by the U.N. Special Tribunal for Lebanon, later this year.

The Qnion has learned that since Mr. Al-Sayyed’s appointment was announced, several other ex-spymasters, security officials, army generals, and former defense ministers announced their interest in serving as ambassadors to UNESCO.

“We’ve just been inundated by requests,” said Ms. Fiona Weatherby, a program officer at the headquarters of the humanitarian organization in Paris. “It’s very puzzling.”

New rumored appointments include former Tunisian security czar Ali Seriati, who has been mooted as the UNESCO ambassador for the Pitcairn Islands (population: 56). Unconfirmed reports also indicate that Habib el Adly, the disgraced and imprisoned long-time Minister of the Interior under Hosni Mubarak is petitioning to become the official envy of Tokelau, a tiny island in the South Pacific (area: 10 km2).

“Don’t get me wrong, I think this is really admirable,” said Weatherby. “The idea that these men could discover their humanitarian streak so late in life is… well, it’s inspiring is what it is.”

UNESCO would not confirm or deny any of the nominations besides that of Mr. Al-Sayyed. However, one high-ranking official at the organization who asked to remain anonymous did suggest that representatives of the late Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon had lobbied intensively for him to be named as the UNESCO ambassador from the Cocos Islands (population: 596) before his death last month.

“We considered the request long and hard,” the official confided, “but the fact that he had been in a coma for eight years made it tough to accept the application.” He added: “It was one of those 50-50 calls. Could have gone either way.”

Reporting by Youssef Tafnis for the Qnion


32 thoughts on “Middle Eastern Ex-Spymasters Suddenly Discover a Passion for Humanitarianism

  1. Damn! No posts for Rustom Ghazali?…I could have swore the newly created Island after an earthquake off Pakistan has a new post available for highest bidder.One problem though; Bashar might be the first inhabitant.

    Reported by Abu fannas

    Posted by danny | February 10, 2014, 4:42 pm
  2. I read your innuendo in your last comment on the previous post, Danny.

    I think it’s pathetic and you just have no clue.

    Who’s this iceman, anyway?

    Could you shed some light? I’m intrigued.

    You should smarten up and stop acting like a fool.

    Posted by Mustap | February 10, 2014, 4:53 pm
  3. Mustap,

    Your comments have exposed yourself for being a few levels below a fool. Buzz off!

    Posted by danny | February 10, 2014, 4:56 pm
  4. I for one, am surprised that anyone in the Marshall Islands had ever heard of Jameel Al-Sayyed.

    Posted by Bad Vilbel | February 10, 2014, 5:11 pm
  5. Danny,

    On the contrary YOU just exposed yourself.

    Nice to see how temperamental you are.

    Don’t you think the one who needs to buzz off is the one who knocks uninvited with ridiculous innuendos? That goes to show how much of a quality person you are.

    Ice my a….

    Posted by Mustap | February 10, 2014, 5:16 pm
  6. I guess there is so much a bought passport can do for you, just pushes you into new ventures, buying interesting “opportunities” for cover, as the spymaster seems to be doing now.

    Quite sad, however, that all the praise the UNESCO got for its courageous recognition of Palestine may now be slightly overshadowed by its Marshall Islands Ambassador, though I doubt it can say no to his nomination…

    Posted by Eye on the East | February 10, 2014, 6:12 pm
  7. Mustap and Danny

    Khalas ba2a. There is no limit on suspensions this week.

    Posted by Qifa Nabki | February 10, 2014, 6:14 pm
  8. QN wielding the banhammer with a vengeance this week! Maybe we all need a week break from the madness.

    Posted by Bad Vilbel | February 10, 2014, 6:40 pm
  9. QN,

    It is not fair to ban Trinkets for his “indiscretions” and allow Mustap to loiter recklessly and using abusive language. I am not his psychiatrist but he seems to be a bit on edge. So far BV coined him right by describing him as Trinkets’ evil twin.

    Yalla. My fault. I should not have stooped to his/her level.


    BTW remember. This is Qnion piece. 😀

    Posted by danny | February 10, 2014, 6:52 pm
  10. Danny,

    “Yalla. My fault. I should not have stooped to his/her level.”

    So why are you stooping again? I am baffled by your contradictions!!

    It looks like you are the one who is using abusive language and accusing others of your own shortcomings. If anyone is on edge it is no one but you. Just look above and see who used the buzz word.

    Are you so eager to act on vendetta urge to have the last word in a silly exchange you started? Or is this just another characteristic behavioural disorder?

    Besides, BV and can square it among ourselves. So what is it to you? On edge again?

    Posted by Mustap | February 10, 2014, 7:38 pm
  11. We’re chilled Maverick. Actually, I’m on ice 😨.

    But seriously, this is not the best Qnion. No one should miss the real Qnion,

    Posted by Mustap | February 10, 2014, 10:49 pm
  12. Jee-Zeus

    I don’t know about everyone else, but this chilly Canadian winter certainly turned me into an iceman

    Posted by Gabriel | February 11, 2014, 4:50 am
  13. Gabby kill Wiarton Willi. 😀

    Posted by danny | February 11, 2014, 9:42 am
  14. The latest recuse in Lebanon to postpone all major national decisions is now based on a Lebanese skiing athlete showing her ass and boobs live on camera and for a photo shoot that is competing at the Winter Olympics in the name of Lebanon.

    Most definitely our dear Lebanese Governors need to assemble for a special parliamentary session to discuss if it is OK to post photos of their boners in shorts, Anthony Weiner style, or condemn that athlete to hell for showing off her physical assets the way she has.

    Posted by Cold but not icy | February 11, 2014, 12:08 pm
  15. iceM..ustap?

    So far, QN’s Twitterfeed has more comments on the topic than does this blog.

    I am puzzled. All of the ledes in the news stories about this posting to UNESCO emphasize the potential for immunity. Where is the reporting the possibility that Jamil al-Sayyed could be re-arrested or indicted for Hariri’s killing? Does it exist? al-Sayyed was at the Hague for the opening of the STL facsimile.

    From Le Figaro:

    “According to our information, the tiny Marshall Islands, populated of
    60,000 souls in the North of the Pacific ocean, well reported to Unesco
    the candidacy of general al – Sayed to represent them. “This created an
    outcry within the Organization,”says an Arab diplomat. Unesco did not
    want to see land a man to the sulphur past.” Requested, Unesco did not
    want to answer our questions. Between 1998 and 2005, Jamil al-Sayed and
    general security was accused of having crushed the protests of the
    antisyrienne opposition and “terrorizing” some intellectuals Lebanese
    opposition, including Samir Kassir, murdered him also in a car bomb in
    Beirut bombing. .

    The intrusion of the general al-Sayed on the Parisian diplomatic scene
    gene also France, and not just because it houses the headquarters of
    Unesco. At the Syrian request, al-Sayed had actively participated in
    the renewal in autumn 2004 of Émile Lahoud as President of the Lebanese
    Republic, against the wishes of Rafik Hariri and his friend Jacques
    Chirac, the president of the Republic at the time. A dispute that was
    going to be the cause of the rupture between Paris and Damascus.

    The Lebanese general was yet not always unacceptable. For years, this
    small man with piercing eyes has actively cooperated with french
    intelligence services, but also Americans, in the fight against

    Posted by lally | February 11, 2014, 1:38 pm
  16. If you want an idea of a Qnion post, here’s something rather funny. The Lebanese officials getting their panties in a bunch because of Jackie Chamoun’s “topless” photos and how it may harm Lebanon’s reputation.
    As if THAT is what’s harming Lebanon’s reputation, not the car bombs, terror cells, armed militias and record-breaking absence of a government.

    Posted by Bad Vilbel | February 11, 2014, 5:05 pm
  17. وها هي الجمهورية المتصدعة معلقة بنهدي جاكي شمعون

    Posted by Vulcan | February 12, 2014, 3:02 am
  18. Thanks for the link QN.

    I read it quickly during my lunch break.

    It looks like this fellow (Tamimi) has the tendency to describe any one or group with ANY Islamic coloring as a ‘terrorist’ or associate. Besides he brushed off some clear evidence (the US treasury for example) as mere allegations. Obviously he’s just picking and choosing what fits his thesis which undoubtedly falls into the regime’s narrative.

    You can easily identify such ‘propagandists’ when they bring up a certain atrocity (like Ma’an for example) right up front and then apologetically bring up a regime atrocity, usually from the very distant past, to fake neutrality or objectivity.

    The regime is committing atrocities on a daily basis. I am surprised ONLY regime distant past atrocities should be mentioned ONLY in conjunction with sporadic atrocities when they happen against regime supporters. There are regime abhorrent atrocities being committed as we speak. You need to look for and read a recent article written by none other than William Hague. Where or when is this Tamimi living?

    The article I linked from Weiss has a tremendous amount of information about the issue. Actually Weiss took most of the material from a Daily Telegraph article originally written by another reporter. I tried to go back and read it again in order to get to the sources but it seems to be buried in the QN archives. I may look for it again later when I have time.

    Assad’s plan from the very beginning was to frame ALL his opponents as terrorists and sell himself as the solution. This is exactly what Tamimi is trying to accomplish in this presentation.

    The issue is much deeper than that. When Tamimi speaks of sectarianism, which now seems to be spreading like fire in the region, we need to know who is behind it and to what end. There is only one place to look for answers: the wali faqih and his proxies. Of course the Baathists are the beneficiaries and servants in this larger scheme.

    Posted by Mustap | February 12, 2014, 4:09 pm
  19. Assad’s plan from the very beginning was to frame ALL his opponents as terrorists and sell himself as the solution.


    I agree with your post. Assad knew he wasn’t going to call elections or democratize, so he did what all arab despots do and bring their country into a brutal civil war and hope no outside power is stupid enough to get involved. Having instead, groups of radical islamists come in to “save the day” (or more accurately “bloody the waters”) helps the Assad narrative as he knew it would all along.

    The guilty party is Assad. As if his “guilt” means anything at this point in time.

    Posted by Akbar Palace | February 12, 2014, 5:38 pm
  20. Mustap

    Your response is unconvincing to me. Will explain in an upcoming post.

    Posted by Qifa Nabki | February 12, 2014, 5:44 pm
  21. I’m convinced the ME is a hell hole. Will explain in an upcoming post.

    (AP gets banned from QN in 3…..2…..1…..)

    Posted by Akbar Palace | February 12, 2014, 11:00 pm
  22. Qifa Nabki,

    While preparing your new post, you may want to look at this link,هذه-داعش-وهؤلاء-قادتها-معلومات-تنشر-لأول-مرة.html

    Notice how many members of ISIL’s high council were Baathists and actually were in the armed forces during the Saddam regime.

    Posted by Mustap | February 13, 2014, 3:16 pm
  23. I will look at it, but I’m already suspicious of its credibility, given the source… Would you trust a report that said the opposite if it was published by SANA?

    Posted by Qifa Nabki | February 13, 2014, 3:22 pm
  24. Of course I will take nothing from SANA. Would you?

    But the source I provided is probably the most trusted you can have in today’s Arab media. I challenge you to provide a more credible source from the Arab world. Besides, the information provided in this particular story can be easily verified.

    So, let’s not play killing the messenger game and concentrate on the message instead.

    Posted by mustap | February 13, 2014, 5:24 pm
  25. Something of note in today’s news (which are usually rather forgettable in terms of novel content):

    The NOW article on the arrest of Naim Abbas, the Abdallah-Azzam brigades commander, in recent days, attributes not only the recent anti-HA car bombs to this man, but also the assassination of Gen. Francois Hajj, and MP Walid Eido. Of course, no evidence is provided. But I found that odd and worth some mention. If memory serves, the abovementioned assassinations predate the Syrian civil war and the involvement of HA there, or, as a matter of fact, the emergence of the “Takfiri threat” and groups such as Abdallah-Azzam.
    So, if we’re to take the confession of Naim Abbas at face value, one would then have to wonder who he worked for at the time, and what motives he (or his employers) might have had for targeting Hajj and Eido. One would assume neither of which has anything to do with the purported anti-HA motives that this individual would be having for the current spate of bombings.

    Posted by Bad Vilbel | February 13, 2014, 5:27 pm
  26. Here’s more material for QN which dates Iranian/Qaida cooperation to as early as 1990 uncovered by the US treasury recently,

    Of course, all of the mentioned details, names, dates and recorded incidents are mere allegations to people like Mr. Tamimi’s propaganda in its finest manifestation.

    Posted by Mustap | February 14, 2014, 6:12 pm
  27. Mabroukeen on the establishment of a new government.

    Any wagers on how long it will last?

    Posted by Balesh | February 15, 2014, 12:28 pm
  28. 4-1 that Jean Kahwagi will be elected President.

    Posted by Balesh | February 15, 2014, 1:55 pm
  29. As to Mr. Jamil Al Sayed’s attempts in the Masrhal Islands and his latest stances vis-a-vis March 8:

    “Bad Boy, Bad Boy, whatch you gonna do? Whatch you gonna to do when they come for you? “

    Posted by Balesh | February 15, 2014, 2:07 pm
  30. 6-1 that Jamil Al Sayed will end up dead, of natural causes, within the next 3 months unless he decides to spill the beans and seeks protection by more valid sources than the Marshal Islands.

    Posted by Balesh | February 15, 2014, 2:22 pm

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