The Qnion

Only the Brave

Analysts: Both Man and Beast Opposed to UN Tribunal for Lebanon

BEIRUT, Lebanon — Investigators with the Special Tribunal for Lebanon (STL) had a rude awakening yesterday after being attacked by angry Lebanese citizens in the course of a routine information-gathering mission. Upon visiting a gynecological clinic in al-Dahiyeh — a southern suburb of Beirut and stronghold of the Shiite party Hizbullah — a crowd of … Continue reading →

Heterodox Feminist Millenarian Group Pins Hopes for Armageddon on Miss USA Win

KHAROB-E DARVISH, Iran — The leader of a millenarian group based in this remote Middle Eastern village has claimed that the recent crowning of Miss USA is a sign of the coming Armageddon. Moulana Fatima Darvishi, spiritual leader of the Circle of Pious Warriors and Noble Pilgrims, released a fatwa this afternoon after receiving word … Continue reading →

Scudding Right Along

DAMASCUS, Syria — U.S. and Israeli officials have reacted negatively to reports that Syria has transferred Scud missiles to the Lebanese militant group Hezbollah. Israel has called the development a “game-changing” move by Syria which has the potential to tip the region into a military conflagration. “Syria claims it wants peace while at the same … Continue reading →

Armed Caravans

In an article published yesterday in Forbes, Washington Institute fellow and former Pentagon official David Schenker weighs recent critiques of America’s efforts to strengthen the Lebanese Armed Forces. He writes: “Many in Lebanon are concerned that U.S. weaponry enables the Lebanese Armed Forces (LAF) to defend the state neither from Israel nor from local al-Qaida … Continue reading →